IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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