you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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