That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
