remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
