I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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