I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
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She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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