My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
