he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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