You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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