Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drunk is not a location!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
