sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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