ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize