My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
