How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
