I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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