Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
