Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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