I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
