while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
