I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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