we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
