Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
