Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
