This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
