Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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