listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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