next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
