Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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