so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
