I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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