He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize