He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
