So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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