Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
