apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
