But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When are your genitals available?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize