There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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