i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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