I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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