Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
