My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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