I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize