But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
