I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
