Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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