Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Randomize
