Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
