ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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