that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
