I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
