I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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