dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
