I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
