careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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