i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
